The Laughing Wanderer

Ohai tharr~: tycoondasher: thepinkpopcorn: Ten Things To Do When You Feel Like...

Sun, 10 Jun 2012 02:18:34 -0700

Ohai tharr~: tycoondasher: thepinkpopcorn: Ten Things To Do When You Feel Like...:

thepinkpopcorn:

Ten Things To Do When You Feel Like Crap:

1. Have a really hot, long shower. Cry if you need to. Sit on the ground. Feel sorry for yourself. Let the steam soak into your skin. Let the hot water wash your face clean. But the moment you turn off that…

This is one of my favorite quotes of all time. The first time I...

Fri, 08 Jun 2012 19:29:25 -0700

This is one of my favorite quotes of all time. The first time I read it in Sandman, I cried.

trambahngast: (via Visual.ly)

Fri, 08 Jun 2012 19:24:58 -0700

trambahngast:

(via Visual.ly)

I

Fri, 27 Apr 2012 10:04:11 -0700

I :

So here’s a new one so brand-spanking that it hasn’t even been published yet. It is, as always, strange and wonderful and heartbreaking and insightful and more than a little bit creepy and all around amazing. Because it’s a Neil Gaiman short story, see? That’s how those work. And it has fired a thousand tiny sparks in my brainmeats, so something tells me that I’m off to do some really weird crafty shit this weekend. By which I obviously mean “really weird crafty shit even by my standards.” Be afraid. Be very afraid. Cheers!

chicagopast: More information

Wed, 25 Apr 2012 21:56:36 -0700

chicagopast:

More information

thewoman76: My very first fandom. I was around for the start of...

Wed, 25 Apr 2012 20:56:11 -0700

thewoman76:

My very first fandom. I was around for the start of it. I had such a crush on them both and use to write the dirtiest fanfic about Mulder and Scully….before the invention of the public internet. And now I feel old…

chicagopast: More information

Wed, 25 Apr 2012 20:52:08 -0700

chicagopast:

More information

Photo

Wed, 25 Apr 2012 19:24:25 -0700

Reblog if I can go on your page and write stupid things in your ask box whenever I'd like to.

Sun, 22 Apr 2012 05:28:24 -0700

glitt3rs-raining-0n-m3:

I love stupid, random, pointless questions!(:

dead from lulz

Fri, 20 Apr 2012 14:41:13 -0700

*dead from lulz*

On How to Prove One's Dedication to An Idea

Fri, 20 Apr 2012 14:04:25 -0700

I’ve been reading a lot lately. To be fair, “a lot” is an incredibly subjective term. In reference to the average amount of recreational reading I’ve done over the course of my life, it’s not much at all, but when compared to the amount that I’ve ‘been able’ to do in the past few years it’s phenomenal. It’s funny how things shift in the physical world to align with your (updated, albeit unspoken) priorities, isn’t it? Unsurprisingly, much of this reading has ended up having a direct bearing on my blog project here in some way or another.

I was poking through Chris Guillebeau’s manifesto A Brief Guide to World Domination the other day (which, if you haven’t read, and have any interest in living an unconventional life, you totally should read. Also it is free, and incredibly interesting.), and I suddenly understood that *I* know I’m serious about this project, but how the heck could you know that? Because I’ve said so? A great many people say a great many things every day, and you and I both know that a whole fucking lot of it is absolute horseshit. How are you supposed to know that me telling you how excited I am to be able to do this, and how pensive I am at the prospect of being solely responsible for if it fails or succeeds, and how much I am enjoying all the learning and thought restructuring and new forms of organization and personal accountability and global interconnectedness and even the fairly steep learning curve on all the technology I’m throwing myself into, and Holy Wow did I mention just how very excited I am about this project?… how’re you going to know all that isn’t more of the aforementioned horseshit?

Well, how about this: Here’s my publishing schedule, so you know what you can expect from me, and so that you’ll know I’m serious about this project.

—Tutorial Tuesday: each Tuesday morning I will publish either a complete, original tutorial of a craft I came up with myself (including a list of supplies, detailed instructions, and pics and/or video of the process itself, and how long you can expect it to take from start to finish); or a sort of review of someone else’s tutorial, in which I’ll show you how my version of the craft turned out (including photos), give you any notes on streamling/updating the process or making it more eco- or wallet-friendly that you might need, and will of course include all relevant links to the original tutorial (and any specific/unique supplies you might need).

—Fervid Friday: each Friday afternoon I will publish an article of interest to the project at large, to help get both my and your creative juices pumping for the weekend. Because the project itself is of such broad scope, the topics may include (but are obviously not limited to): the nature of art, what it means to create/be creative, the little squicks of taking on a project like this, the relationship between art and spirituality/various religions/altered consciousness/music/mood/history/my-your-our future/pretty much anything else that comes to mind, et cetera. I think you get the idea. When I have guest posts, they’ll go here unless they’re specifically offering a tutorial.

—Weird Weekends: every other weekend (it will probably usually be Sunday, but I might occasionally surprise us all by having both free time and my act together well enough to put it out on Saturday) you’ll be treated to whatever other random things are happening with the project, or are slushing around in my head because of it, but that don’t really fit in either of the other categories. I suspect these will be of a more personal & reflective nature, and there is really just no telling what the content may consist of. Stay tuned & find out, I guess.

So there you have it. A consistent 2-3 posts a week from me, minimum. Now you know what to expect, and when you get it for a few weeks running you’ll know I’m as serious about this project as I already know I am. A big plus? I have something to hold myself to, a yardstick of sorts. You’d be surprised how difficult “creative output” really is to quantify. Empirical datum on the subject is frightfully absent in all the research papers.

***

Meanwhile, If you have questions, comments, or feedback of any kind, please tell me! I’d especially love to know what you’d like to see me post about in this creative journey that you’re not yet seeing… you telling me helps both of us. :)

Until next time…

NEAT.

Fri, 20 Apr 2012 00:13:57 -0700

blamoscience:

Great news for everyone who loves cocaine! A new vaccine is currently being tested to reverse the lethal effects of a toxic overdose of cocaine. The vaccine contains a human monoclonal antibody with a stronger affinity for cocaine molecules than other that have been reported. So far the research looks promising for the future of drug therapy.

You can read the research here.

uhhleeese: positive-press-daily Toronto becomes first city to...

Fri, 20 Apr 2012 00:10:41 -0700

uhhleeese:

positive-press-daily

Toronto becomes first city to mandate green roofs

Toronto is the first city in North America with a bylaw that requires roofs to be green. And we’re not talking about paint. A green roof, also known as a living roof, uses various hardy plants to create a barrier between the sun’s rays and the tiles or shingles of the roof. The plants love the sun, and the building (and its inhabitants) enjoy more comfortable indoor temperatures as a result.

Toronto’s new legislation will require all residential, commercial and institutional buildings over 2,000 square meters to have between 20 and 60 percent living roofs. Although it’s been in place since early 2010, the bylaw will apply to new industrial development as of April 30, 2012. While this is the first city-wide mandate involving green roofs, Toronto’s decision follow’s in the footsteps of other cities, like Chicago and New York.

Under the direction of Mayor Richard Daley the city of Chicago put a 38,800 square foot green roof on a 12 story skyscraper in 2000. Twelve years later, that building now saves $5000 annually on utility bills, and Chicago boasts 7 million square feet of green roof space. New York has followed suit, and since planting a green roof on the Con Edison Learning Centre in Queens, the buildings managers have seen a 34 percent reduction of heat loss in winter, and reduced summer heat gain by 84 percent.

But lower utility bills aren’t the only benefit of planting a living roof. In addition to cooling down the city, green roofs create cleaner air, cleaner water, and provide a peaceful oasis for people, birds and insects in an otherwise polluted, concrete and asphalt-covered environment.

THIS MAKES SO MUCH SENSE. I first heard about this while living in Chicago during the time period mentioned above, and my instant kneejerk reaction was “YES!”… not even just for all the reasons above, but also: imagine gardens. Like, places where you grow food? Yeah, those. In those spaces. What world hunger problem? What resources used to transport fresh produce to market? WhatWHAT??? Also also, even just as it is, it is just plain cool. There. I said it. It needed to be said.

"Your responsibility as a parent is not as great as you might imagine. You need not supply the world..."

Thu, 19 Apr 2012 04:46:05 -0700

“Your responsibility as a parent is not as great as you might imagine. You need not supply the world with the next conqueror of disease or major motion-picture star. If your child simply grows up to be someone who does not use the word “collectible” as a noun, you can consider yourself an unqualified success.”

- Fran Lebowitz (via thewoman76)

Tutorial Tuesday: This One's For All You Locals Out There.

Tue, 17 Apr 2012 10:04:18 -0700

While everybody in the sane parts of the northern hemisphere is getting moist with joy at the fact that they can finally venture outside without dying of exposure within minutes, and is busily shedding as much clothing as humanly possible in celebration of this fact… things are a little different here in the great Sonoran Desert.

Here, everyone is alternately bemoaning the crazystupidinsaaane triple-digit heat and how it came “so much sooner this year than last” just like it does every year, filling kiddie pools with buckets of ice cubes as fast as their freezer and the local 7/11 can provide them, and casually enjoying the visual rewards of living so very close to so very many college campuses. The very clever among us are doing all 3 simultaneously.

Therefore, while everyone else is busy burning their wretchedly out of fashion coats they purchased last fall in a fit of freedom, glorious terrible freedom, and celebrating spring and summer and the warm weather and the furry little bunnies and all THAT, we are eyeing you suspiciously should you get even a smidge too far out of control in your premature poolside gyrations, and snickering knowingly under our breath, calm in the knowledge that we had the AC system in our cars checked out back in February; the freon is full, there are no holes in any of the hoses, and we can look forward to another solid 9 months of hell incarnate, safely ensconced within our little bubbles of sweet artificial bayside breezes on wheels, looking smexy in our Scottsdale designer sunglasses we got for $4 at the Mesa swapmeet. O, yes.

You see, here in the Valley of The Sun, we wait for winter the way the rest of America waits for summer. We covet it, worship it, build shrines to it. I’ve even heard tale that some people who work as healthcare professionals make sacrifices to it. If you haven’t survived an entire August here, you’ll never understand why anyone would do such things, but I can assure you: far, far crazier things are happening in this world right now.

Anyway. You know how every fall it seems like every craft/fashion/DIY/vintage blog in the world runs some kind of post on how to jazz up/cute-ify/bring new life to an old sweater or coat? Sometimes it’s centered around the holidays, and I don’t mind those much, because at least they’re easy to identify and therefore skip right past. Since, with the passing of this past March, I can now officially call myself a local in this madhouse, I finally feel secure in telling you that it’s the ones that want you to put pretty flowers (spring!) and hearts (valentines!) and fuzzy little ducks (easter!) and dewdrops (May!) and tons of cutesy, hopeful, return-of-fertility crap all over your most basic staple sweater, THOSE are the ones that just make me want to wretch with the utter predictability of it all.

Do these blogs seriously want you to take what is most likely literally the most versatile piece of clothing in your entire closet, and glue a bunch of pastel eggs, and little green leaves, and some sequins onto it, because it’ll remind you of spring (which is supposed to cheer you up, based on tricking your lizard brain into thinking you’ve already survived another winter when it has barely begun)? Because if they do, I would like to say to them “Girl, you done went and lost your whole damn mind.”

Obviously, I’m not having ANY of that around here. Ergo, I respectfully present the contrarian perspective. Here, my desert dwelling friends, is a seductively warm cardigan, with enough attitude to make you long for the days when sleeves are no longer a wish for a slow and agonizing death by sunstroke, and enough cuteness to make you risk wearing it to work a solid month before you know you really ought to.

I stumbled upon a tutorial over on Elsie Larson’s blog, A Beautiful Mess, which is gorgeous darling, as well as interesting because she gets into a lot of stuff that I don’t, creatively. Elsie herself is as sweet as her complexion is creamy, and even more lovely than her extensive vintage wardrobe (which I covet even unto death), so it’s absolutely nothing against her. It’s not even anything against the post’s author, someone named Lori Marie… maybe it was her first guest post or something, we’ll never know. The fact that she chose colors that make ME want to throw up in my mouth a little isn’t HER fault. After all, there’s no accounting for taste, especially my own. I’m not entirely sure how, but I made it from my eye snagging on this (for reasons probably entirely unrelated to the sweater):

to making this:

So she couldn’t have done too bad a job of it, really. You should check out her tutorial! I have some notes on it for when you’re ready to actually get to making the thing, that you should read before you do so, though.

Supplies. 3/5

When I absorb a tutorial, I read/watch it repeatedly until I think I totally understand it, then go grab all my supplies, and sit down at the table and just have a go at the thing. If I get stuck, I’ll revisit the tutorial midstream if I really have to, but it’s kind of jarring to my creative flow. So it kind of matters when a person writing a tutorial doesn’t mention things like a thimble, some kind of pen to draw your shapes on the felt, and scissors to cut said shapes out with, in your supplies list. It’s better to list everything you actually laid your hands on during the creation process and have a person not need a thing they gathered, than to just assume everyone will have Nice Scissors That Everybody Knows Are Only For Momma’s Crafting And If You Touch Them The Retribution Will Commence (like I do around here). For example.

It also helps if they get specific, like by mentioning that your hands will thank you for using the comfort grip scissors (if you have them) long before you’re even halfway done cutting all those teeny felt pieces, or that you’ll want a very sharp, or very sturdy (but ideally both), needle to make it through your sweater & more than one layer of felt. Which, even if you use exactly the shapes and arrangements she did, you will be doing, many times. Oh, and this is where that thimble will come in handy. Little considerations like that matter in the planning stages; they save me time when I’m selecting which needle/scissors, they save me the frustration of cutting out a bazillion felt pieces when I could have picked a simpler pattern that would have looked just as good… and I didn’t do a third of what she did. The woman must have seamstresses callouses to die for. I mean, look how simple mine was compared to hers!

Tutorial: 2/5
Beginner (Not For Noobs)

To be fair, I got more multi-dimensional with it than she did; the red x in the bottom skull’s eye pictured above (as well as the centerpiece of the flower below), is 3 strands of embroidery floss going through 3 layers of felt, 3 layers of glue and 1 layer of pretty thick wool/cotton blend sweater. This, added to the glue stick problem & how I had to work around it, may have had a considerable effect on my needle/thimble issues.

Just FYI, a whipstitch, if you’ve never made one, takes about 30 stitches to master. Use any dimensional work you’ve planned into your design as practice time if you’re new or rusty. Also, due to the wool content of the felt, it loves to snag the embroidery floss at every opportunity. The floss also seems to enjoy looping itself around the buttons of your garment during every single stitch you make within 8 inches of a button, in total defiance of all known laws of physics. If you’re prepared for these little irritants before they manifest, they probably won’t bother you much. As an aside, I will think twice about ever adding a star-shaped piece of felt to anything ever again in my life unless it’s precut and I can just glue the whole thing down and be done with it.

She fails to mention that those glue sticks hold fuck all when you’re dealing with fuzzy sweater + fuzzy felt. Nothing was sticking to anything but my fingers, but it would have been so great (so much faster!) if they had worked. And I know it wasn’t my glue sticks, I actually laid out the extra $0.12 for the brand name last time! They still did nothing but lie to me, then laugh about it. I ended up switching to Aleene’s Original Tacky Glue in the gold bottle. I just used very small dots. It should be mentioned that with Aleene’s, you need to be sure your pieces are where you want them by the time it dries or they’ll pretty hard to move without machine washing, which will result in lost felt pieces, which you will then have to recut. Don’t try to sew the pieces on while it’s still wet; waiting for it to dry will require a bit more force, but won’t result in broken needles, frayed nerves, and a sticky mess. Just trust me on all of this.

Yes, I even did an extra little cutesy thing on the back, because my hair is short right now and why not? I couldn’t get a good photo of it to save my life, though. It was another triple layered felt effect, although by that time, *PROTIP*: I’d learned to glue then sew each layer from the top down to the next layer before finally putting the constructed piece onto the sweater, in classic ‘work smarter, not harder’ fashion.

I understand that tutorials laid out in this manner are intended to make relatively simplistic crafts seem accessible to newbies, and in that this one succeeds with flying colors (just check the comments). The problem inherent with that approach to this particular project, is that modifying clothes in such a detailed way, and by hand, is actually very time consuming, and that’s not what newbie-craftsters want; they want a quick fix, something that will spur them on to try something slightly harder or inspire them to finally tackle an idea of their own they’ve been toying with.

The tutorial comes off as if Lori breezed through her sweater in 90 minutes or so (and no timeframe is given). If she did, then she is a far better woman than I, and good for her. My take on her project, although drastically stylistically simplified, requiring less than a third as many assemblage pieces, and all supplies were already on hand, took me more than 8 hours over the course of 3 days. Just so that you know what to realistically expect. Although with the modifications and tips I’ve given you, I expect it’d take you half that total time & could be done in two 2-hour sessions (to allow the glue to dry overnight).

Overall: 3.5/5

All that being said, I had a great time jazzing up this sweater. The minute I saw her finished project, I knew exactly which atrocity currently feeding moths in my closet I was going to work with even though I hadn’t seen or even thought about it in months; there’s just no substitute for inspiration. In our consumerist society, I believe it’s not only an environmentally friendly and an economically sound idea, but also a spiritually important approach to life, to work with what you’ve already got whenever possible, which is why not a few of my projects involve repurposing, recycling, or giving new life to clothes & objects I’ve already got, have been gifted to/found by me, or have been carefully preened from local thrift stores (of which I’m lucky to have quite the selection). I’ve had this sweater for sooo long, I wore it as new, then I rocked it as retro, then I pulled it off with the subtly ironic vibe, and now it’s back in style again… only better, because it’s personalized! Nobody will ever have one quite like it, unless the total revamping of my food & exercise thing ends up working out as well as everything else I’ve done this year, and I end up having to sell it because it’s way too big. Oh, wouldn’t that be grand!

I liked being able to go spooky and kooky yet feminine with the design, even while keeping it really simple visually. I enjoyed giving new life to a fairly oddball old sweater (why did I go for the red piping instead of plain black? I remember doing it, but I cannot recall why, dammit), and how the elements I chose really compliment the original piece. I liked being able to both complicate (4 different colors of embroidery thread!) and simplify (oh hell no with all those flowers!) her design. And yes, because I myself am often difficult, I even enjoyed the difficulties I encountered while undertaking the project. I just wish I’d had a decent heads up, is all.

As always, feedback of any type: questions, comments, suggestions for things you’d like to see me attempt in my Craft Lab, all are always welcome. I’d especially love to know what you’d like to see me post about in this creative journey that you’re not yet seeing… you telling me helps both of us.

Until next time…

Photo

Tue, 17 Apr 2012 04:37:44 -0700

Adventures in Film Festivallery, Part 1

Sun, 15 Apr 2012 16:46:25 -0700

Due to winning a bitchin’ full festival pass, by sheer dumbfuck luck, from Bookman’s, I attended The 12th annual Phoenix Film Festival a couple weeks ago (between March 29th & April 5th). I’d apologize for how long it’s taken me to post about it, but SWEET MERCIFUL CRAP. I saw so damn much (mostly amazing) film in those eight days, it has literally taken me this long to begin digesting it well enough to be able to explain any of it to anyone else in anything even approaching a coherent way (e.g. to review the films).

[On a side note, I can’t figure out why the hell they call it the “Phoenix” filmfest, since it was held in Scottsdale, and was therefore populated almost entirely by industry assholes (at least, the only other people with full festival passes seemed to be on some big studio’s payroll, or at least dressed that way. Who the fuck wears a suit & tie to watch 6 movies in a row on a Sunday???). Regular ticketholders ($12 a pop WTF?!?) were people who generally looked down on me for being dressed in what I considered to be a practical manner, i.e. warm (I always freeze my ass off in theatres) and casual (read: comfy, but not sloppy, I mean, no sweatpants for fuck’s sake), but which they obviously considered to be far, far below them… at least once they got the answer to the oft-repeated question of whether or not I was a director and/or filmmaker. SO. ODD. By the way, the answer I eventually settled on was “not yet.” Ask me again next year.]

Which is, of course, my intent. So, I’ll review them, and link to their official sites whenever possible so you can figure out how to go see them yourself, if’n you’re so inclined. I will also discuss, quite possibly at length, how they do/may affect this project, but will hopefully try make that into another weekend-type post if I get a little to crazy on that last bit. No promises, though.

Also, I view & rate on a 5-star system:

0 stars being “you’ll be asking for a refund on that 90 minutes of your life”. Think 2000’s Dungeons & Dragons. *shudder*

1 star is “you’ll wish you hadn’t”. Yes, I’ll explain why, probably with much profanity.

2 stars equal “if you REALLY have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING BETTER TO DO, you probably won’t regret having seen it, but DO NOT pay for it”. This is the shit that torrents were made for. Vote with your dollars!

3 stars being “pretty good, all things considered”. Again, I will explain why, and there will probably still be a good deal of vulgarity.

4 stars says “definitely entertaining & worth making time for”. I’ll tell you exactly why.

5 stars being HOLY TITS MAN, GO SEE THIS RIGHT DAMN NOW. As in, Perfect Blue. I’ve seen it literally almost 100 times, and it keeps getting better each fucking time. Truly amazing film; do not be fooled by the fact that it’s animated, it will fuck up your head very nicelike. You’re welcome.

With all that in mind, on to the first film!

***

One of my favorite films of the festival was Connected: An Autoblogography of Love, Death, & Technology. The film presumes to examine the myriad ways in which humanity is irrevocably interconnected, despite our constant protestations about our intractable individual independence as beings. Between everything from the extinction of bees on a global scale, to the big bang, to Twitter, to particle physics, and art, and even an obviously painful recounting of the protracted journey of her own father’s death, and quite literally everything in between excepting the kitchen gorram sink, the director and primary narrator of the film somehow manages to extract an argument for not just humanity’s obvious interconnectedness, but also our undeniable interconnection with the earth and the rest of its inhabitants, with which I have yet to find major fault despite pondering it at what has often seemed like every spare moment for weeks. Indeed, the message of the film is so innervating that a person who is predisposed to look for connections where none may readily seem to exist (like myself), may be damn near compelled to revisit the intricacies of her theory whenever possible until duly satisfied that they all fit neatly within its framework (and they do, perhaps even frightfully so).

Now, a bit of a caveat. Although I had no idea they were related, I had read (and, incidentally, positively ADORED) the filmmaker’s father’s second book, The Alphabet Versus the Goddess: The Conflict Between Word and Image, by Leonard Shlain, shortly after high school, although I walked into the theatre having no idea the two were related in any way. I will admit, however, that upon finding out that little tidbit of information, I instantly became slightly more understanding of the director and more enamored with the film, born of the sheer impossibility of my mind attempting to conceive of what it must have been like to have been raised by the man who wrote a book that so shaped the way I view the world as the one mentioned above. (Yet somehow I’ve never read either of his other books. That’s really odd, now that I think of it.) And yes, having a level of intimate familiarity with her father’s writing both helped me better understand not only her perspective on the whole interconnectedness issue and why it is so very near and dear to her, but also to better forgive her occasional lingerings (and slightly too personal meanderings - which is a surprisingly difficult criticism to give of a documentary!) on the topic of his death.

To be fair, the way that he raised her obviously helped form the worldview from which the impetus for the film sprung, and his death clearly helped galvanize the last few pieces of the puzzle in her mind into a cohesive theorem. However, just how so remains unclear to the viewer, even one already familiar with him as an individual, like myself. I am easily able to write such a vague feeling of ‘something’s kinda missing here’ from the viewer’s perspective off as having to go through the horror that is losing a parent, and the way that it just shatters your whole world even when everything’s normal. To have to do it in the middle of a huge, years-long project that he essentially birthed in you? Well… it’s bound to have some repercussions on the final work, and really that is only as it should be.

Frankly, all the other criticisms I’ve heard on this specific topic regarding the film come off as wayyyyy too harsh to me, and I’ve never even lost a parent. Give a bitch some slack; she went through fertility treatments (free tip to the dudes out there: HORMONES MAKE YOU TEH CRAZY), had a kid, did a metric fuckton of research based on some crazy idea that started on a fucking cocktail napkin, all while slowly watching her beloved father die horribly, and at the end she still came out with one hell of a film. A good film. A funny, meaningful, watchable film. An important film. How many people can say that?

And in the end, that’s what really needs to be said about Connected. Me personally? I’ve been thinking about the topics it covers for over a decade, with various amounts of attention and intention, but at the core it never failed to fascinate me, because there was some basic premise… some primary thread that tied it all together… that I just wasn’t getting on my own. My musings left me wanting, and Ms. Shlain’s film finally wrapped it all up in a neat little package, perfectly digestible, and wonderfully portable, for me. I liked the film if for no other reason than that it freed up some mental real estate for me by answering a question I hadn’t really realized I was trying to ask. And that is fucking art, ok, people? I mean, shit.

There were a couple things about it that confused me. I can’t for the life of me figure out why she chose to take a seemingly random assortment of the wonderous and myriad public domain film clips she’d gathered and had used to wonderful artistic effect throughout the film, and then run them backward at precisely the moment that most of the audience seemed to be having it’s “Aha! Moment”. This seems counterintuitive to me, and the juxtaposition of the visual imagery with what your mental processes are trying their damndest to do in that moment also seems counterproductive in light of her stated goal for the film. It also seems a bit like the first 5/6 of the movie were created and edited by one person, and the last 1/6 was put together by another person entirely, but I suppose that if going through all the aforementioned things at once doesn’t kind of change you into a different person then you’re probably not paying the proper amount of attention to your life.

Still, the end result as an audience member is to walk out of the theatre feeling rather like you do during the last 20 minutes or so of a nitrous oxide high you acquired at the dentists office: you feel weird, and you know that something has Changed about you, that Something Is Different now, but during that walk to the car, and for at least half of the ride back home, you really aren’t sure what the hell it might be.

Therefore, I’ve determined that this film requires a second viewing before I can rate it properly, but I’m giving it a tentative 4 1/2 stars.

Until next time…

Tastebud Orgasm at Table Two, Please

Sun, 15 Apr 2012 10:02:00 -0700

My kitchen smells of Old Bay seasoning & green onions, and it is divine. I haven’t really mentioned it yet, but I am on (a very personalized adaptation of) the Paleo ~~diet~~ lifestyle due to my food allergies & various other health concerns that it sort of allofasuddenlike dawned on me about a year ago were probably all dietary in origin, or could at least begin to be addressed dietarily.

I have to confess, I’ve always been a foodie at heart, even though I only heard the term very recently. I love food, and have therefore really never been one of those people who ever dieted. In fact, I never thought much about food at all, beyond what kind I wanted right then, until it started making me very sick. In high school I started reacting to white cheeses (but of course it took me a couple years of pretty much shooting in the dark to figure that out… hey, it was before the internet!). Fast forward to my late 20s, and I’d managed to accrue a list of food allergies/sensitivities as long as my arm… but something still felt off about it all. Mostly the fact that, as careful as I always was about what I ate, my ‘treacherous’ body would still try to — cover your children’s eyes, but — literally shit itself to death, with alarming regularity, and apparently without provocation.

Food became a hassle, a reason why I couldn’t eat out with friends (because even the “chef” didn’t always know all of the ingredients to a dish), or why I’d get a half hour less sleep each night (having to pack my own lunch just so I could know for sure what was going into my mouth), the impetus behind countless doctor-ordered food diary pages (in the interest of discerning my migraine triggers, the cause of my fibromyalgia, or just for data to compare against the latest round of blood tests). Food consumed my life, and wasted my fucking time, and I was so sick of it. I lamented our collective lack of scientific progress toward food in pill form like in the old scifi movies. I espoused a willingness to try Soylent Green if it came in BBQ flavor. I was so damned done with it all.

Then, I got pregnant with my daughter. Enter Hyperemesis Gravidarum. After that fresh hell, I finally decided that there was Something Really Wrong with my body and its relationship with food, and that Something Must Be Done. A friend of mine went Paleo and lost about 40 pounds, but more importantly she just could not shut up about how much better she felt from day one, even before she lost any weight. So, I looked into it. I did the 30 day cleanse, then began taking baby steps that seemed right for me toward a more primal way of approaching food. Somewhere along the way, I stumbled upon some heavily scientific research (which I have since lost, due to having my computer stolen) regarding gluten sensitivity. I decided I would cut all gluten out of my diet for 30 days, but after 10 I was sold. It was the ONLY solid ten days of my adult life during which my body never once attempted to shit itself to death. I knew I was on to something.

And let me tell you, as a gal who was damned near a connoisseur of beer, gluten was not an easy thing for me to dismiss outright… but I’ve never looked back. It’s a sad thing indeed when some teriyaki chicken can land you in the bathroom for a day and a half because the teriyaki sauce had wheat flour as its third to last ingredient and you didn’t think to look for it there, but such things do rather effectively prove a certain point.

Point being: eat better shit, dummy. So, I learned to stop & really look at the plate of food before me at each meal, to choose what I would & wouldn’t eat, and then to check again at the end to make sure I’d kept my word to myself. This (re)taught me that I can trust myself to make good choices. I learned to keep a little tupperware of plain beef jerky & unsalted raw nuts in my purse instead of stopping by a fast food joint. This taught me that a fun, busy life with two very interesting children doesn’t have to exclude immediate gratification… and that I don’t have to sacrifice my health, my budget, or my need to lead a balanced life by example to those children, in the pursuit of such. I’ve learned to cook much more than the pancakes I was once famous for, and the desserts which once earned me a living. This has taught me that I’m versatile, and resilient, and that I still love learning new things (and eating them!) as much as ever. These are all wonderful, important things to know about yourself, and only all the much more so when they’re autodidactic.

I’m still learning what a rational portion really looks like. I’m still not sure how I feel about getting wholly rid of dairy, because damn cheese is good. I still struggle with wanting those damned BBQ potato chips & especially dark, nut-filled chocolate sometimes. And sweet Jeebus do I miss beer on hot summer evenings! But right now, eating salmon with fresh dill, avocado with tzatziki-dill creme & asparagus in bacon-butter-lime sauce made by hand by someone I love?

TOTALLY FUCKING WORTH IT.

There is so much sweat in my eyes. It is not even cool.

Fri, 13 Apr 2012 10:02:00 -0700

I woke myself up early on a day I didn’t have to, so I could prove to myself how dedicated I am to this thing I am doing. Also, I wanted to take pictures. Lots and lots of pictures. Of barrettes.

Allow me to explain…

My 3-year old daughter loves to pick the flowers from the bushes around our apartment complex, and have me pin them in her hair (but only after picking one for me to have ‘because Momma’s my pretty’ *SWOON*), but they always fade and wilt within a couple hours. Whenever she notices this, she gets a look of profound sadness on her face, which remains while she gently caresses the withered bloom for a few moments, then takes it outside and places it gingerly in the dirt ‘so she can be with her friends’. Obviously, this breaks my heart with its adorableness and sincere innate compassion.

So, I set about making her a pretty felt flower for her hair. In the process of learning to do so, I got lost in the deeply crafty corners of the internet several times, usually for hours at a time. During that time, I saw so very many ideas that grabbed me, fired my imagination, and inspired me to try new approaches. Thus, as I am wont to do, I went a little bit crazy with the hair flower thing. OK, OK, a lotta bit crazy. I ended up with over 40 flowers, in about a dozen basic types but with infinite possibilities of variety, including some I just made up as I went along. Each one is unique.

Clearly, that is wayyy too many hair flowers for a given little girl to have, and some are very obviously not for little girls, etc, etc. What really happened is that the little darling suddenly decided that her flowing curls are not to be styled, nor indeed adorned, in any way whatsoever. In the hopes that she’ll get over whatever is motivating that hot damned mess at some point, she’s allowed to keep her favorite 3. The rest are going up for sale in my Etsy shop. Because what in the living hell am I going to do with 42 (LOL, accidental nerd reference!) hair flowers? My mohawk doesn’t even reach my ears when I leave it down, and this apartment contains a finite amount of space, most of which is taken or being used to contain oxygen & nitrogen for us to use.

Therefore I ended up awake at what I consider to be a barely acceptable time of day in order to take a gagillion photos. I HAVE SO MUCH RESPECT FOR “REAL” PHOTOGRAPHERS NOW. I had no idea, no clue at all, how hard this kind of work really is. The positioning of things just right. The repositioning. The re-repositioning. Holy what, the positioning never ends… and my subjects aren’t even alive, endowed with free will! Oh, the lighting on this one is all wrong, but I can’t control the sun… which is also determined to be right in my eyes, no matter which way I turn (how is this possible?!?). Pretty backdrops, which the fire ants want to crawl all over. I need a close-up of this one, but can’t seem to hold still enough to get a pic that isn’t blurry as all get-out. Also, WHY WON’T ANYTHING SPARKLE IN THE SUN ON CAMERA LIKE IT DOES TO YOUR EYES? I would sincerely love it if someone could explain this phenomenon to me; don’t be afraid to get deep into particle physics, I can follow. I just need to know. It will keep me awake tonight; wondering, sussing.

For the most part, the photos turned out pretty well, actually! I don’t know how my stuff would look even half as professional as it does without the (really quite nice) camera an old friend lent me for this part of the project. I had tons of fun making the flowers (I’ll get into the details of that in another post), I really enjoyed my crash course in photography, the kidlet got some flowers for her hair that won’t break her heart, and there’s some more pretty things in the world in the end. Great stuff all around!

Meanwhile… If you have any questions or comments, please let me know. Need clarification? Tell me, I’m happy to help! I’d especially love to know what you’d like to see me post about in this creative journey that you’re not yet seeing… you telling me helps both of us. :)

Until next time…

All Is Right With The World

Thu, 12 Apr 2012 17:14:44 -0700

Thing 1 is grumbling about trigonometry homework, and we are both pretending that I don’t notice him really playing video games with his friends online intermittently all the while.

Thing 2 is busily painting magenta tempera dinosaurs, stark raving nekkid except for a very pretty little flower I made for her, holding her hair all in a bun.

And I, just having returned from putting my largest (and by far most fun to package) Etsy sale to date in the post, can sit here and blog about it all feeling rather accomplished.

So why do I feel like Jay & Silent Bob are gonna crash into my living room Kool Aid man style at any moment, screaming about snoochie boochies & some such shit? Because that is only thing that could possibly add to the awesome up in this bitch right now.